Archive for the Category »Kids «

Aug

School is getting into full swing around here. Some schools in the state started last week – and most in our area are starting today and tomorrow.

Curly is a “Kindergarten Girl” and she is ALL. KINDS. OF. EXCITED!

We pulled her out of the Christian school (for a variety of reasons) and she’ll be starting at a local Catholic school. The great thing about this school is that it’s only a couple of blocks away and she gets to go more than 3 hours a day! She is very excited about getting started – she’s quite the social butterfly. We are not Catholic, so we will address our faith with her at home, but the education is really excellent and having her so close is going to be really great.

Georgie – may be starting Preschool. She is my free spirited – don’t put me in a box – kind of girl. Think Anne of Avonlea… She is very bright, but keeping her still is a real challenge, and she’s going to need a good teacher who can capture her attention and work with her learning style. Which is – I’ll dance around while you talk and be able to recite the answers verbatim… sigh.

Since I haven’t been sleeping extremely well of late, I am dreaming of a few morning naps to come. LOL… And a LOT of SERIOUS cleaning out.

My theme this summer & fall is: SIMPLIFY. It’s not just a theme, it’s like a directive from God. He’s been calling me to get rid of a lot of the extraneous stuff – and for good reason. When life rocks your boat, you figure out what is most important and that’s what you cling to. It’ll be easier to get rid of the myriad of toys that never get played with – and to unload the flotsam and jetsam…

Category: Kids, School One Comment

Aug

Houston, We have a Food Dye Allergy

queenmommy

This is still pretty new to me, but I’m pretty positive that Georgie is allergic to Red Dye #40.

Anything that is red or pink probably has Red 40, but not exclusively. Red 40 is one of the most common dye additives to many common foods such as chips, crackers, beverages, cheese, chocolate cake mix, even meats and vegetables!

Although we have yet to confirm this with her doctor, and allergy testing for food dyes is very difficult, her behavior after consuming red fruit punch is astonishing. I had started noticing it in the past few months, and without thinking, filled a cup with 1/2 water and 1/2 red punch. First thing she did when she sat down at the table to eat was guzzle about 1/4 of what was in the cup. Within just a couple of minutes – she was OFF. THE. HOOK.

She couldn’t sit still, she was spinning & dancing, she was yelling and jumping, and she acted as if she couldn’t even hear us. She didn’t eat a bite, even though she hadn’t eaten for hours. While it could be attributed somewhat to sugar, it is the same kind of behavior that occurs while drinking ANYTHING red – sugar free or not.

So I’m going to do an experiment – at the risk of our sanity – by offering her some sugar free Grape drink mix. Yep, it contains Red 40.

Anybody out there have any experience with food dye allergies / intolerances? I’ve just started researching and found a few websites that offer some explanations of other children who experience the same kind of disconnect in behavior after consuming food containing a dye they are allergic to!

Red Dye Free

Kake

Red40

Oh, and by the way, according to THIS article, Red 40 has been approved for use by the FDA, but when sprayed on weeds is effective as a PESTICIDE.

HELLO!!!

So, at our next well visit – we’re going to be discussing this in as much detail as we can, and I’ll be reading labels a LOT in the near future.

Any advice or recommendations you can offer is surely welcome!!!

Category: Food, Kids 2 Comments

Aug

Do you have a “Difficult” Child?

queenmommy

I’ve been wondering how to approach this topic because it is not an easy subject to write about. I read this article at ehomebody.com, and after reading my friend Amy’s post about her son Ian, thought I should write about my experience with a “difficult” child.

Curly has always been our easy-going, happy child. She slept all night long from about our 3rd night home from the hospital – she was easy to feed, easy to entertain, easy to take care of and easy to love. She is bright and sunny and I call her my “Sunflower” – she just has that disposition that makes everybody smile.

And then came Georgie.

Fussy. Irritable. Sensitive. Demanding. Needy. NON-sleeper.

For the first 18 months of her life (where I was also attending school online and working full-time for the first 9 months) – I was a complete zombie. She was demanding of my time and attention and I was left feeling completely incapable of taking care of her, let alone meeting her basic needs.

My postpartum depression did NOT help.

I thought when I came home full-time that things might ease up – maybe she just needed more attention. Maybe she needed more one on one. Maybe she needed more naps (I know I certainly did!)

But the intensity of her needs and demands really drained me. Honestly. I got concerned that maybe she was autistic or had Asperger’s and we investigated the signs and symptoms.

I call her my Sweetpea – sensitive and fragile…

Then I found an article by Dr. Sears that opened my eyes to the unique and wonderful world of the High Needs Child. I read an article 12 Features of a High Need Baby and CRIED WITH RELIEF!

She wasn’t broken. She wasn’t damaged. I wasn’t crazy. In fact – I discovered that Georgie was just really special.

She does not think or learn like a typical child. Where most people find themselves working to think and live “outside the box” – Georgie LIVES outside the box.

She is sensitive to sound and light. Always has been. She is sensitive to touch – and we often had to struggle to find the right fabric when she was an infant – because her skin was so sensitive. I had to carry her in a sling to keep her tightly close to me – because she simply can’t get close enough sometimes.

And she is terribly bright. Always watching. Always listening. Always soaking up EVERYTHING like a sponge.

Part of her irritability stemmed from her inability to communicate effectively. And for her, the introduction of sign language during infancy made a MAJOR difference in our everyday life. She would often SCREAM for hours – and leaving her to scream it out was completely ineffective with her. It only increased her NEED for comfort and security. She would get hysterical. And then I was hysterical and at my wits end.

When she learned a few basic signs like “hungry” or “sleepy” or “drink” – life got easier. And when she could speak, and she spoke early – she could finally TELL us what she needed. There was relief for all of us – including her.

There are moments – every single day – that she finds herself on the floor screaming and crying. Some of this is just because she’s a child and isn’t getting her way. But for her, I can say, “Georgie, I don’t know what you want or need when you’re screaming. You have to USE WORDS to tell me what you need.” And it is effective, even though she just turned 3.

We have to be very descriptive with her and provide words and meanings so she can then use them. And she does. Effectively.

A conversation with Georgie is often full of surprises and DEEP meaning. She lives intensely – she feels intensely – and helping her learn to identify and express her feelings, while teaching her to navigate life is really challenging. And that’s where the term “Difficult” comes in.

She is artsy – and our walls, doors, and dressers often show evidence of her NEED to color and draw and she can twirl beautifully about a room to any music (whether its a living room or a restaurant). She is moody – and some of that is just sheer genes, but they are intensified in her to the Nth degree, which is challenging for all of us. She is empathetic – in a way that surprises many people, including us. She can sense a mood before a lot of us even get an idea that something is going on. She is fearless – in that breathtaking way that threatens to stop a mother’s heart. She is lovely – in ways that I can’t even put into words sometimes.

It’s not that SHE is difficult in the sense that she has problems. It’s that it is often difficult to get OUTSIDE myself and what I think I know about being a mother. I have to mother her so creatively and so differently than Curly – and it is DIFFICULT for me to do that as well as I should. She is crushed by yelling – and I’m a yeller… I have to die more to myself with Georgie than anybody else I know, including my husband.

A relationship with Georgie is not like a relationship with anybody else. I can’t just mother “off the cuff” with her. I have to be very intentional and thoughtful in every single interaction with her – and that is what is difficult. I can’t just do a halfway job and hope for the best. All kids deserve a fully invested mom – but she requires it…

So I don’t really have a “difficult” child. I have a very special child who challenges me to be more and better than I really am…

Category: Kids, Life, Parenting 4 Comments

Jul

Polished Cornerstones – Back Into The Groove – Honest!

queenmommy

So for the past few weeks, our Polished Cornerstones projects went by the wayside in the face of major papers and finals for college classes. The reality was that every minute I could spare was spent on school work. Everybody and everything suffered. Last week, I spent much of the week resting and catching up on housework. Focusing on schoolwork kept my eyes blind to cobwebs on my ceiling, gunk buildup on my kitchen floor, and much more. No pictures available…

So this week, I’m focusing on An Honest Woman. There have been some issues with lying in the past couple of weeks, and although Curly learned the Ten Commandments during the Summit Life Action Conference, we need to review what God has to say about being honest.

That’s our focus for this week. Our projects tend to be very simple – and we’re going to work on a Chores Chart for each girl, too. That will reinforce Honesty and good work. Keeping it VERY simple for all our sakes. We’ll be talking through stories about when we have been honest and when we have been dishonest, and what that means. The suggested project to make a “journal of excuses” is one we are working on, too, although it will be more like a Paper than a Journal – but we’re working through excuses and blaming others when we need to take responsibility.

Category: Faith, Kids, Polished Cornerstones 3 Comments

Jul

Growing Like Weeds or Flowers?

queenmommy

How is it that one day you bring a tiny little infant home, and the next day (or so it seems) you turn around and they’re dressing themselves and talking to you about the meaning of life – as they understand it?er

Summer is for birthdays for our girls and it’s hard to believe that these tiny girls are turning 3 & 5 this year…

How did they get so smart? How did they get so sassy? I don’t remember – even though I’ve been here almost every single day of their existence.

How do we miss some moments and remember others?

Watching them do new things and forgetting what a struggle it has been – at times – for them to learn some things. Having conversations with these little people – whose brains are always surprisingly more developed than I realize – and marveling at their comprehension and intensity.

How GRATEFUL I am that I have been able to stay at home with them for the past 2 years. Sure, it’s been hard – and yes, I’ve cried a lot – but wow, it’s pretty amazing to be a mom and watch these little people grow in leaps and bounds.

Some days – it does feel like they’re growing like weeds – but most days, it feels like they’re growing like Flowers – big, beautiful, lustrous flowers, with bright – shiny faces turning upward – and every so often I get a whiff of the beautiful fragrance that God has showered over them…

Category: Family, Kids Tags: the girls 2 Comments

Jul

Talking with the Girls

queenmommy

So the girls and I were riding in the van the other day, and the road was kinda rough. It had lots of patches, bumps, and dips. We hit one spot and it was kinda loud, and Georgie immediately asked,

What was that?

I started explaining that the road was rough and the asphalt had lots of holes and bumps.

Curly asks me,

What is asphalt, Mom?

So I started explaining that asphalt is what they use to make the roads, and she responds with:

Mom! You shouldn’t say “ass” – it’s a bad word!

Kids Say the Darnedest Things!

Category: Family, Kids 2 Comments

Jun

Raising Homemakers

queenmommy

In our culture – and this day and age – the “role” of women has been so redefined that many women (including myself) live in a lot of confusion. The messages from our culture – and even from the body of Christ – so often undermine the beauty of womanhood, and God’s original plan for women.

See, woman was NOT designed to simply be a servant to man. She was designed to stand alongside man and help him rule in dominion for God’s Kingdom. Rank & file came along only because of Adam & Eve’s choices, which – let’s face it – can so often EASILY be our own…

God has clearly defined a woman’s place and where her heart must rest: God, Husband, Home & Family.

Does this mean a woman cannot – or should not – work? I don’t believe so. Proverbs 31 clearly indicates a hard-working, entrepreneurial woman.

But her focus was her relationship with God, her relationship with her husband, her relationship with family and home, and then her role in work. Far too often, it’s a struggle to maintain these godly priorities. Maybe you don’t struggle here - but I sure do – and it’s NOT easy to realign them.

See – I like work – I like achievement. I like accolades and praise for a job well done. I like a tangible wage for the work I do. I don’t like doing work for the sake of work. I like the feeling of a job well done – and the acknowledgment that comes with it.

But being a stay-at-home wife & mom – those things don’t come in the same way they do with a career or job. I MIGHT get a “thanks” for making dinner – but should I get a bad attitude if my family does not worship at my feet for every teeny tiny little thing I do? Well, No – I shouldn’t. But too often, I do.

I feel underappreciated & undervalued. And I let my family know it.

I’m ashamed to write this – I’m not proud of it. It’s a DAILY battle to fight my insecurities and need to be acknowledged. It’s because I do my work for the wrong reason. It’s also because I have ingested the world’s ideals and ideology for “woman” and my Rights are not being respected. Poor, poor me…

That’s why I love websites like Raising Homemakers.

It reminds me that my work is not always for my family. My work does not always garner tangible rewards or accolades. I don’t really deserve a standing ovation for doing the dishes. It reminds me that I have to keep my eyes on heavenly goals – not just my own lofty aspirations – and that my work is first and foremost, for my Lord.

And I’ll be joining in with them to walk through Doorposts’ Polished Cornerstones – a manual for building Godly character in girls – and look forward to the inspiration and accountability with them…

If you have daughters – I highly recommend Raising Homemakers to you. It is countercultural. It is what some would call “weird,” “old-fashioned,” and maybe even “out of touch.” Don’t let that scare you – check them out for yourself and compare their mission and ministry to Scripture – and then decide…