So I have been struggling for the past few months – partly why I have NOT been blogging much – with my attitude in general. About life. About marriage. About motherhood. About ministry. I have kinda become this decomposed version of myself.
Not as in decomposing, but rather disassembled.
Where I’m struggling the most is in my thinking. I’ve really been stuck in some “stinkin’ thinkin’” about a lot of things and it is a hard habit to break!
I have been easily discouraged.
Our routines have been unsettled and in a constant flux for a variety of reasons.
Greg has a new job (huge blessing) and it has drastically changed our everyday schedule. The kids are out of school. My part-time job, which remains flexible at this juncture, means leaving my kids more and having to rearrange my errands and schedule to accommodate for childcare and everything else.
And I have been. flat. worn-out!
Please hear this: I am not complaining. This is more like a state-of-the-writer-of-this-blog address.
I have not been journaling, and obviously if you follow me, I have not been blogging much. I have spent much less time on Facebook, and limited time on Pinterest.
I have discovered that I have lost a lot of passion and zeal for some of the most important things in my life – and things that have always been important to me – and it was literally necessary for me to disconnect from a lot of these surface things so I could dig deep and figure out what has been going on.
Because frankly, I felt very lost.
I was not lost, in fact. Just had a skewed perspective. And I am climbing my way back out of the pit of despair (Princess Bride, anyone?)
So I am working my way back to journaling, back to daily devotions, and back to blogging. It will look and feel different and that is the part I am still leaving until I know what it is I am supposed to do with it. Not gonna make any major changes there until I know what God desires, but that is what I am in full pursuit of and asking Him to show me as I step out.
I will write more personally – and I will still write very much from a faith-based perspective. I will share resources and recommendations of products and people that impact me and how I stay focused on God. I will write about my kids and how they make me crazy and make me feel amazing at the same time. I will write about my struggle to understand “worthy” and “enough” and living life to the fullest.
I had a revelation last night and will share more about that in my next post. For now, my kids are out back having a water balloon fight and I need to get them in before an afternoon storm hits!!!
It’s a Latte Life to live, and by golly I’m gonna enjoy it!