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Mar

So I printed some coloring pages over the weekend to play with in between doing homework and running errands. Okay, I didn’t really “RUN” errands – but I am hobbling better every day and moving faster.

It’s amazing to see how much these “bumps” in life affect my kids. I don’t mean to say they shouldn’t be affected by life, it’s just interesting to see how they process these upheavals and changes in life. We’ve seen many twists & turns over the past several weeks, but mommy with a hurt foot, brace or ankle wrap, and crutches – really knocked them off kilter for a few days.

Last Tuesday, since Roy stayed home, he decided to take the girls out for a few hours in the morning. I was quite all right with that, but Curly had a really rough time. She wasn’t listening, she was talking back, and she was piddling around when she should have been getting dressed. I found myself sitting on her bed, literally talking her through putting on each piece of clothing as she argued with me over nothing.

It’s not like her to be quite so argumentative, and in the end, Roy & Georgie actually left without her. So while we were settling in downstairs, and she was crying out her distraught little heart, I got her to stop long enough to ask her why she didn’t get ready sooner.

“Because if I leave I don’t want your foot to bleed again,” she sobbed.

(P.S. – if you’re not a mom – every booboo requires a bandaid, whether bleeding or not, and in my case, she assumed my sprained ankle bled…)

She’s only 4, so she didn’t know how to say that she was WORRIED about leaving me alone.

sigh.

So, we talked for several minutes, and after I put the word “worry” to her feeling and we talked through it, out came the sunshine in my girl and we called Daddy who gladly returned to pick her up.

It was so simple really, and to be honest, if I hadn’t been forced to slow down (literally), I may have missed the clues she was leaving for me. She needed me to help connect her voice to her feelings. She is pretty sharp, and she says things all the time that make me stop in my tracks. But its really important for her to learn those words that describe feelings so she can talk to us about what’s going on inside.

If nothing else good comes of this sprained ankle, that little lesson taught me a lot. It also gave me a boost of confidence in mothering.

She doesn’t need me to do everything for her.

She isn’t helpless. But she absolutely needs guidance and direction and acceptance – whether she’s storming like a hurricane, or shining like the springtime sun… And while the screaming and backtalk needs correction, her heart needs understanding and acceptance.

It’s a fine balance, much like a tightrope some days, but I am grateful for God’s wisdom and clarity in dealing with these Mommyhood moments…

Category: Faith, Family, Home Tags: children, Family, mommy, raising children 4 Comments

Mar

Monday Memes – At the Well & 1 Cor. 7:5

queenmommy

gathering-at-the-well

You really should pop over to read this sweet post by Penny At the Well today. It falls right in line with my post summing up this past weekend…

Stressful times abound. Chaos threatens to steal away peace. How do we respond to it? As Christians? As wives? As mothers? We know actions speak louder than words (and that was more evident to me this past weekend than ever before)

Our questions for today are:

Life’s storms will come sometimes when we least expect them, how do we give our children a “safe feeling” in the midst of a life storm?

Sometimes chaos is created by our own efforts of trying to do too much, how can we maintain a peaceful home where chaos is prevented?

How can we as wives and mothers actually calm the storm?

My reactions to life’s storms absolutely affect my children, and also teach them how to handle the storms in their lives. If I am trusting in my power, I am not relying on God’s grace, strength, peace, or wisdom to respond appropriately. Instead, I react in my own weakness – and safety (or peace or joy or love or kindness) is not a feeling that flows from me. This is when I must surrender my will, my desires, even my dreams – in order to let God work through me. So they can see how God meets our greatest needs and blesses us abundantly, and how falling on Him in times of stress is our ONLY HOPE.

Yep, chaos is absolutely at the root of “doing too much” in my life. It isn’t necessarily that I have too much on my plate. It’s more like I pile it all up on the same side instead of placing it around my plate so I can enjoy each thing in its own time. Instead of taking things one at a time, I try to do too much at one time. I am pushed along by pressure, by panic, in a rush toward perfectionism . Trusting God for guidance in meeting my responsibilities and LETTING GO are the keys for me to rest in the still waters, accomplish necessary work, and teach my girls – in actions and words – what is important in life: Reliance on God in & for all things.

Calming the storm for my family – I must 1) rely on God’s strength and pray for Him to work through me to touch my family, 2) pray continually for God to reign in every situation, and 3) provide my husband with the support and my children with the tools to seek the same peace in their lives during stressful times: Prayer, Singing, Scripture and Maintaining a right spirit.

Allowing God to continue to reveal sin in my life so I can confess it to Him and repent, renew my heart & mind (Philippians 2:5), strengthen my resolve to do right (Galatians 6:9), and lead me in His ways (Psalm 139:24) will provide more opportunities for Him to be in the midst of the storms that come our way.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:7

This week’s challenge: Tell him what you want…

If you’re just joining me – the 1 Corinthians 7:5 challenge is a motivation for wives to seek out and achieve more sexual intimacy with their husbands. The topics are personal, but I promise to be as tactful as possible.

I’ll be honest – I have seen several posts on many blogs I visit regularly about pursuing sexual intimacy in marriage. Whether it’s just a hot topic – or whether it’s just something wives are talking about more – it is obviously a need, and something we should address.

In this particular area, I have no problem asking for or saying what I like and what I want. My problem is not in the content – it is very much in the approach. Sometimes I’m whiny (so NOT sexy); sometimes I’m impatient (yeah, that’s motivational, isn’t it?); and sometimes, I think I’m being very clear, when in fact, I am not being understood very well (talk about Mars vs. Venus!) and the miscommunication leads to frustration for both of us.

This area takes both the willingness to say what I need or want, but also an attitude that presents my request in a way that is encouraging, motivational, and understood by my husband. When he understands and “gets” what I’m saying – it can be a very good thing… It takes practice. It takes feedback. It requires my willingness to state and restate until he “gets” what I’m saying in his terms. And yes, sometimes it takes action…

So, I will work on this during the week. Hopefully, I earn an “A”!!!

Until next time,