Favorites on Facebook: Summer Salads
I’m starting a new “thing” for A Latte with the Queen Mommy readers – check out the facebook page today and share your favorite summer salad recipe.
Feel free to post the recipe in a comment – or share a link to your favorite salad. I’d love to see what your favorites are!
(This is something I would like to do every week or every other week to get some activity going on the Facebook side of ALQM. I hope to see you there!!!)
You can find MY favorite summer salad recipe HERE.
Depression and Anxiety Part 1: Five Things You Can Do When The Feelings Come Back
This is part one of a two part post on “feeling normal” after coming through a time of depression or anxiety.
I wrote awhile back about starting to feel normal again. It’s been quite awhile since I’ve felt normal – and the feeling was new and fresh and welcomed. It has also been scary, emotional, and overwhelming! It’s not the normal part that’s hard – it’s the FEELING part. It’s a LOT like recovering from surgery, when the numbness wears off there are a lot of different reactions. Many times, when you are depressed or in crisis, you are operating in crisis mode and there’s little room for feeling anything. It can really throw you for a LOOP when the feeling comes back.
For the past couple of weeks, I’ve had a LOT of emotions just floating around on the surface – emotions which are healthy – but the way I’ve been expressing them has not been so pleasant for my family or anyone around me…
I’ve learned a couple of ways to deal with the feelings and to embrace your life again.
1. SLOW DOWN.
Recovery takes time! When feeling the feelings comes back, more often than not it seems like an avalanche! In reality, you just need to give yourself time to adjust to feeling again. You might think you feel 5 different things at once – but that’s fairly normal for a lot of people. The overwhelming feelings can cause anxiety (fear of loss of control, fear of falling back into the pit, etc.), anger (especially when unresolved feelings surface) or more depression (“nothing has changed,” “I’ll never feel better”, etc.)
How do you slow down? Take a few deep breaths. Go outside and walk around your house – pulling weeds or picking flowers as you do. Take a walk up your street. Drive to a park and swing. Pour yourself a large glass of iced tea, sit with your feet propped up and read a book or watch a movie. Give yourself some time to adjust to feeling again.
2. Prayer & Praise
Yeah, I know, I know – everybody says to do this. But it’s SO. AWFUL. HARD. to pray and praise God when you feel fear, anger, panic, depression, etc. When it’s hard to lift your head off the pillow or take a shower or get dressed – it’s hard to imagine praising God. If you read through the Psalms, one of the most encouraging things about David is his resolve to praise God despite his circumstances.
Many of the Psalms lay out this very process.
Prayer – David pours out his heart to God, sharing disappointment in friends, fear for his life and family, anger at those who sought to hurt and even kill him. He doesn’t hold back, letting God know exactly how he feels and how he hurts and needs God’s help.
Praise – Many of these SAME chapters end with praise to God. When David is alone in a cave hiding for his life, he can still find reason to praise God. And in that praise, he is remembering the Character of God (which FAR SURPASSES any and all feelings or circumstances!) It is the character of God that transforms David’s feelings, not changing circumstances.
If you can’t imagine getting up and moving, at least find a praise & worship CD that you can listen to REGULARLY and start adding it to your life every single day. Rotate a couple of them for kicks – and as the praise songs work their way into your heart and mind – you may find yourself in better spirits without even trying! You may find yourself singing the words (which are often Scriptures!) even when you aren’t listening, and that can help bring your spirits up.
3. Get Moving!
I know – me too! I HATE to exercise! Oh wait, did I just say that out loud? Exercise is a GREAT way to increase the endorphins (positive hormones) in your body, which boosts your attitude and spirits. For me, two of the WORST symptoms of depression were Fatigue and Pain. I could not get energy to do laundry most days, let alone exercise. And my body ached all over – so how was I going to feel better by exercising. The key is to start. Walking. Climbing. Moving.
A big key for ME to exercise is to trick myself into thinking I’m doing something else. (I know – aren’t mind games EXHAUSTING!?!) If I can watch a TV show or listen to a podcast while I’m walking – it does not FEEL like exercise. Ta-Da!!! Upbeat, fast-tempo music helps because I just WANT to start moving – so consider some faster paced music to listen to while you clean or do laundry or mow the lawn.
These are just a few tips that I found helped me through some really rough moments – and if you feel depressed, one or more of these suggestions might help you as part of ongoing treatment &/or therapy. This post will continue next week…
* * * * * *
***DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a licensed professional anything. I have taken classes in psychology and counseling, but am NOT licensed to practice. If you feel that you or someone you know is suffering from depression and/or anxiety, please seek the advice and treatment from a trained professional clinician. Depression and anxiety are real – and Christians suffer from them as much as anyone. If you feel hopeless or helpless, I pray that you will seek help IMMEDIATELY from your physician, a trusted counselor or a Christian counseling center. If you have thoughts or are contemplating suicide – call the Christian Suicide Prevention hotline at 888-667-5947. Please know that depression and anxiety are temporary; suicide is not.
Writing about Feelings, Depression, and Anxiety
Blogging can be very cathartic. A lot of topics can be explored, and we’ve certainly ventured into a wide variety of topics here.
This week, I’m beginning a weekly series on depression and anxiety and how to deal with them. It may be only 2 posts – or it may be 22 posts. Depression and anxiety are the MOST commonly treated disorders today. Because they are so common, and so prevalent in women, and because I’ve both experienced and STUDIED the subjects, I really feel led to write about them.
Some people think depression and anxiety are sinful – simply a lack of trust in God. Some people think depression and anxiety (or any other mental health issue) are totally organic and can only be treated in the physical realm.
Based on what I’ve studied and experienced, I do believe that mental health issues (almost all of them, but NOT all of them) are three fold:
- Physiological
- Emotional / Mental
- Spiritual
I believe that EVERY disorder affecting the psyche has its roots in all three realms, and must be approached in a holistic manner. All three areas should be addressed in order to provide a well-rounded and all-encompassing approach. Jesus healed in that manner, and I believe it is crucial that therapy of any kind is approached in this manner, to ensure healing!
DISCLAIMER: I am neither a physician nor a licensed, credentialed therapist. I have studied psychology, Christian counseling, and mental health issues for the past few years as I work to complete my Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. I cannot provide treatment to anyone. I can share what I’ve learned and what God has revealed to me for my life – and hope that it is a blessing and of benefit to someone else. *IF YOU HAVE FEELINGS OF HELPLESSNESS OR HOPELESSNESS, OR LINGERING THOUGHTS OF DEATH OR SUICIDE – CALL YOUR NEAREST FRIEND OR RELATIVE AND ASK FOR HELP!* Depression and anxiety don’t have to last forever, but suicide does… If you are embarrassed or afraid to ask for help from someone you know, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TTY:1-800-799-4TTY).
Helps for Busy Women
Whether you are a mom or grandmother, working woman or stay at home woman – your life is probably busy. Despite advances in technology, we pile more on our plates instead of backing off some of our commitments and extracurricular activities.
Technology has brought a LOT of help to women – organizational tools, communication tools, social / networking tools. And for those things I am grateful. But I’ll be honest – I STILL love a good paper and pen for making lists and writing notes. Despite many software programs and phone apps, I prefer some things to be written down and recorded.
There are two sources with great products I wanted to share with you – if you’re like me and still like to have paper in your hands.
Moms Tool Belt - Mom’s Home Planner – from Debra Reed, offers an AMAZING array of printables (notebook size) to help with home & family organization, homeschool management, record keeping, and more. I still use a Home Management Notebook, and the bulk of the forms I use are from my membership to Mom’s Tool Belt. Debra has made it almost impossible NOT to join.
The first year’s membership is only $15.95 and you have full access to ALL available forms (many of which are editable in word, excel or PDFs). New forms are added every month. Cute seasonal designs or funky feminine designs are available. Your membership means you can go in and download every single form if you’d like. And the renewal fee? ONLY $5.00!!!
Debra has taken a lot of suggestions in the past year or so that I’ve been a member and has added some really useful printables. In fact, she has created editable files so you can personalize many of the forms in a way that suits your family life and needs.
One of my favorite forms is a 2 pg – weekly planner with category sections for every day, weekly sections, and a perpetual to do list. It is pretty just the way it is.
I just LOVE that swirly design – and the planner itself is so versatile. The best part is that she also created this in an EDITABLE excel file that allowed me to customize it TOTALLY for my life. I don’t homeschool, but I have homework, so I got to color code and rename categories and get it arranged in a manner that WORKS FOR ME! See?
Having pretty, practical forms is one thing – having pretty, practical CUSTOMIZABLE forms is just THE BOMB!!! That alone is worth the price for me! After I joined and saw everything she had to offer, I signed up to be an affiliate, TOO. I like to let you know about good deals and savings and coupons – and even if she didn’t have an affiliate program, I’d be singing the praises of these printables because they have helped me get on track more than once!!!
You can click the graphic below (it’s my affiliate link) to find out more for yourself.
I also wanted to let you know that if you love classic (or desk) sized binders and refill pages – Graceworks Purpose Planners (whose products I still use for devotions and Bible study) has some beautiful binders on sale right now. I own one of these binders (the tapestry – light floral) – and even at the regular price of $20, they are worth every. single. penny. The accents are leather-like and my binder is very sturdy. It’s been through a lot of wear and tear but still looks new. This binder and the other tapestry binder (with a suns motif) are only $9.00 each!!!
The planner refills are really great too – and there is a vintage/romantic/scripty feel to most of them, but the newer Sterling collection offers a more simple design and font for anyone who doesn’t want anything too girly. I love the girly look and the beautiful fonts – so I’m more than happy to order from the classic sets. There’s even a brightly-colored set for “youth” so if you’re young at heart, you might find something you like there.
I am NOT an affiliate for GW Purpose planners – I’m just a really big fan! Over the past year or so, new forms have been added, and they are reasonably priced. There are planner sets available – so don’t hesitate to check them out!
Both of these companies are run by Christian women. Despite my love for technology, I’ve found GREAT uses for their products and if you are looking for coordinating printables for your family organizer – or if you like the classic daily planner I hope you can find something you like at either (or both) of these sites.
Printable Coupons to Save Money
There are some REALLY NICE coupons here to help you get ready for summer!!!
$1.00 off off any ONE (1) Honey Bunches of Oats Fr
$2.00 off Just Bitten Kissable™ Balm Stain
$1.00 off any adidas Deodorant Product
$1.00 off Purex Crystals laundry enhancer item
$0.90 off 1 JELL-O Temptations or Mousse
$1.00 off any Welch’s Sparkling Juice Cocktail
$2.00 off one GARNIER MOISTURIZER Product
$3.00 off LOVE’S EVERLASTING COURAGE dvd
$0.50 off May Issue of All You
$2.00 off (2) TWO Dial Body Washes
$0.70 off ONE Kellogg’s Krave™ Cereal
$1.00 off PURELL portable size Hand Sanitizers.
If you want or need help with meal planning – check out THIS awesome deal from Food on the Table! Through midnight (CT) on 5/18, you can sign up for *F*REE SERVICE FOR LIFE when you enter code SPRINGFREE ! That is just amazing! The meal plans are based on sales at local grocery stores – what could be simpler! Click the banner below and be sure to enter code SPRINGFREE to get lifetime service for *F*REE!!!
(Affiliate links in this post. My disclosure policy is here.)
My Baby Brother’s Birthday
It’s my Baby Brother’s Birthday – and I would be remiss NOT to talk about him today.
He is probably one of my best friends. He probably doesn’t know it because we’re not the chatty, do everything together kind of best friends. But he’s a good guy. He knows me. He still likes me (or at least pretends to) and doesn’t hold it against me that i was rough on him as a big sister.
But enough about me, right?
Dave was born when I was 8 years old. He was my first real-live baby doll! And he was a BABY DOLL! He had all this THICK, DARK hair – and was really ruddy when he was born. I can remember seeing him laying there in a diaper in his bassinet and I FELL. IN. LOVE.
When he was 6 weeks old, he had to have surgery for pyloric stenosis. A digestive issue, food could not pass into his stomach, so he was slowly starving to death. I can remember how sickly he looked. And then afterwards, how stinking cute he was cuz he got CHUBBY!
Oh and he giggled. He giggled like that kind of baby giggle that makes YOU giggle. And he made us giggle all the time. He was so sweet and loving and funny. And grew up that way for the most part.
I was a terribly bossy big sister (a habit I am STILL trying to overcome…) and he was a good brother. We laughed a lot together – and we still do. We share a similar sense of humor and all it takes is a look and we crack up. (This is a family legacy kind of thing – my dad and his sisters & brothers are the same way.)
When he joined the Navy I was really proud. And when he got shipped off after 9/11 – I was never more terrified! Thankfully, he made it back home – and now he can be a husband & dad to his sweet wife & 3 kids. Who are probably more like him than he cares to admit.
Yep – Dave is a good fella – a fun guy – and a really great brother. And even though we don’t get to hang out like we used to – and can’t carry on a conversation like we used to (cuz I don’t know about you, but when I answer the phone, my kids think it’s time to play CIRCUS!) – but I will ALWAYS love him and am glad he’s my brother.
Happy Birthday Baby Brother.
And Dave, I did NOT break your arm!!!
Mother’s Day and Mother Hens
Mother’s Day was lovely – hope yours was too! Got to spend the Saturday before with my mom, and then Sunday with Roy’s mom. The girls took me to Panera for supper (SCORE!) and it was a pretty lovely time!
Last week was finals. Ucky. Hard work. Still recuperating. New semester has already started, so no time to lollygag – gotta buckle down again. WILL BE GLAD WHEN ITS DONE! Girls Tball games start this week, my internship starts next week.
Our chicklets are GORGEOUS these days. We have 2 roosters for sure, so we’ll be getting rid of them soon. They have relocated to the garage, and get some outside time in a temporary pen just about every day. The girls dig up worms to feed to them. I love listening to them chatter through the living room window. (and GOOD NEWS - A gal from 4H is taking 2 male guinea pigs off our hands this week – yippee!)
And because we’ve made room, we’re getting a couple more chicks in early June. BUCKEYE PULLETS! I’m SO darn excited. They were bred and established in Ohio – gorgeous birds – something like Rhode Island Reds. Ever since I saw them at the Ohio State Fair a couple of years ago, I’ve wanted some. So now I’ll be getting into the whole chicken project too. They are reportedly docile and friendly, so I’ll have some pets of my own. lol. We’re preparing to get an outside coop built up over our old garden bed and I’ll be able to look at them from the kitchen window while I wash dishes! I love the idea of backyard farming – and we’re taking a few steps in that direction… Now all I need are some beehives and blackberry brambles. lol
This is a book that inspires me EVERY time I look through it!
I did buy some chocolate mint and lemon balm from a farmer’s market over the weekend and need to get that potted and growing!!! Oh – and then I saw THIS idea for growing potatoes on Pinterest and thought “I CAN DO THAT!!!” We shall see…
We were blessed with an ABUNDANCE of girls clothes over the weekend from Roy’s family in Kentucky! 6 black garbage bags FULL of clothes and coats and oh my goodness – I’ll be spending some time cleaning out the girls dressers & closets – already have a bag full to give away – so that’ll be nice & fresh for summer. They both really needed some tshirts and shorts – and God sure poured it out on them!!!
That’s the newsy news in this little corner of the world.
WHAT’S GOING ON IN YOUR CORNER OF THE WORLD???
Guest Post: What I Am Not – Tricia Goyer
Welcome to Pearl Girls™ Mother of Pearl Mother’s Day blog series – a week long celebration of moms and mothering. Each day will feature a new post by some of today’s best writer’s (Tricia Goyer, Sheila Walsh, Suzanne Woods Fisher, Bonnie St. John, and more). I hope you’ll join us each day for another unique perspective on Mother’s Day.AND … do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful hand crafted pearl necklace. To enter, just {CLICK THIS LINK} and fill out the short form. Contest runs 5/6-5/13 and the winner will on 5/14. Contest is only open to US and Canadian residents.
If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info and see what we’re all about. In short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Pearl Girls: Encountering Grit, Experiencing Grace or one of the Pearl Girls™ products (all GREAT Mother’s Day gifts!) to help support Pearl Girls.
And to all you MOMS out there, Happy Mother’s Day!
Becoming a mother is a complicated thing. Not only am I trying to negotiate a relationship with my child, I am trying to negotiate a relationship with myself as I attempt to determine how I mother, how I feel about mothering, how I want to mother and how I wish I was mothered.
— Andrea J. Buchanan, in Mother Shock3
Sometimes the easiest way to discover who we are is to know who we are not.
• We are not our children. We all know mothers who go overboard trying to make themselves look good by making their children look great. I saw one woman on the Oprah television show who had bought her preschool daughter more than twelve pairs of black shoes just so the girl could have different styles to go with her numerous outfits! Just as we -don’t get report cards for mothering, we also -don’t get graded on our child’s looks or accomplishments. While you want your children to do their best and succeed in life, your self-esteem -shouldn’t be wrapped up in your child.
Life as I See It:
My individuality will never end. There will be no one exactly like me, not even my child. She will be like me in some ways, but not at all in others. I -wouldn’t have it any other way.
— Desiree, Texas
• We are not our mothers. I remember the first time I heard my mother’s voice coming out of my mouth. The words “because I told you so . . .” escaped before I had a chance to squelch them. It’s not until we have kids that we truly understand our mothers — all their frets, their nagging, and their worries. It’s also then that we truly understand their love.
Since you are now a mother, it’s good to think back on how you were raised. If there were traditions or habits that now seem wise and useful, incorporate them into your parenting. You also have permission to sift out things you now know -weren’t good. Just because you’re a product of your mother, that -doesn’t mean you have to turn out just like her. Repeat after me, “I am not my mother.”
• We are not like any other mother out there. Sometimes you may feel like the world’s worst mother. After all, your friend never yells at her son — and sometimes you do. Then again, your friend may feel bad because you have a wonderful bedtime routine that includes stories and songs. In many cases, the moms you feel inferior to only look like they have it together. All moms feel they -don’t “measure up.” Instead of feeling unworthy, we should realize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. The key is where we place our focus.
The Bible says, “Let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without . . . comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we -aren’t” (Romans 12:5 – 6, MESSAGE).
The problem with comparison is, we always measure our weaknesses against the strengths of others. Instead, we need to thank God for our strengths. We can also ask God to help us overcome our weaknesses — not because we want to compare ourselves, or look good in someone else’s eyes, but because we want to be the best mom out there.
Freebie Printable: Good Morning, Lord – Devotional Page
I had a youth pastor who always began his formal teaching with the prayer that is included on this printable.
Good Morning, Lord. What’s your plan? May I be a part of it?
I was always moved by that prayer and have found myself recalling it and praying it many mornings of late. I thought it was appropriate to include in this printable I created.
Sometimes, I want to take notes about my daily bible readings – there are those “A-HA!” moments when the light bulb goes on and God speaks to my heart and I need to do more than just highlight the verse(s) in my Bible. I like to record the lessons He teaches me so I can go back and review them and remember what He has done for me. I decided to make my own page for this purpose and thought I’d share it here with you. It’s the Good Morning, Lord Devotional Page .
It is not intended for deep study – and allows for more than one reading note per page. It can be easily printed on both sides of the paper and hole punched for a binder. Of course, it has a coffee theme – yay! It is intended for morning Bible reading or devotionals, but you can use it however you’d like.
Click the photo above for a little bit larger view – and click HERE to get your free copy of the Good Morning, Lord, Devotional Page.
A Backwards Blog Tour – Pursuit of Proverbs 31
Amy Bayliss, one of my long-time blogging heroes, has written a book titled Pursuit of Proverbs 31. You know – as Christian women Proverbs 31 (along with Titus 2) is often one of the first passages we are guided to study. Sadly, a lot of what we “know” about the woman idealized in Proverbs 31 is myth!
Amy is on a “backwards blog tour” for the month of May 2012. If you enjoyed her post Friday, you can read more about this tour by visiting any (or all ) of the links listed here. The blog tour began May 1, so you can go back and visit some posts to get just a taste of what is shared in her book. You may also find some new bloggers to follow!
Just look at the titles of some of these posts! As I’ve begun to read through the book and visit the blog posts – I’m really finding a lot of “meat” in what I’m reading. I’m getting my toes stomped on – I’m being encouraged because I find myself saying, “Yes! That’s exactly how I feel” or “That’s EXACTLY what I thought about this!” This is not just another lecture on how imperfect you are and how you aren’t measuring up…
And let me tell you, God has a lot to say about how perfect you are and uses his own measure for you – that’s a big message He’s breathing into my life these days.
Day 1: Recognize God as the source
Day 2: Spend more time with Him in the everyday
Day 3: Ask Him to change your heart and open your eyes
Day 4: Take inventory of your expectations
Day 5: Be Willing to Surrender Your Mindsets
Day 6: Discover the person God created you to be
Day 7: Define your purpose
Day 8: Create goals and a plan
Day 9: Work on one thing at a time
Day 10: When you fall, get back up
Day 11: Develop a support system
Day 12: Ask your husband
Day 11: Ask your kids
Day 12: Practice living in the now
Day 13: Never stop learning
Day 14: Making time work for you
Day 15: The art of managing
Day 16: Find an efficient way to work them
Day 17: Be aware of your surroundings
Day 18: Consider your resources –
Day 19: Unleash Your Creativity
Day 20: Get out of the “it’s for me” mindset
Day 21: Implement meaningful activities in the home
Day 22: Set a family night
Day 23: Don’t compare yourself
Day 24: Be a master planner
Day 25: Schedule a prep day for cooking, homemaking, and activities
Day 26: Yes, there is a ministry inside of you
Day 27: Do you have to do it all?
Day 28: How are you like the Proverbs 31 woman?
Day 29: Consider your faith
Day 30: Find inspiration
Day 31: Remember it is all about Him
Disclaimer: Frankly, I own this book and recommend it whether or not you purchase it using my affiliate link (which is used in this post). In fact, you can visit Amy’s blog, Cajun Joie de Vivre, directly to find the link to her book – affiliate link-free! If you’ve always wondered or want to know more about Proverbs 31, it’s worth the few dollars to buy (instead of your large cup of coffee) to get a clearer understanding of WHO the Proverbs 31 woman really is!
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