Those Mommy Days

by The Queen Mommy

Last Saturday was one of THOSE days as a Mommy.

2 kids up before 6:30 a.m.

Roy had to work and left early.

Instant squabbling between siblings.

It all came to a head as we were attempting to get the kids play area rearranged and cleaned up. Screaming. Fighting. Crying.

And it wasn’t just the kids.

I came away from it feeling several things:

    • I suck at being a mom.
    • I am the ONLY mom who screams at her kids.
  • I’m totally failing because my kids don’t show gratitude or appreciation for anything they have.
  • I do a better job washing dishes than training children.
  • I only had to SURVIVE the day…

And I ended up face down on my bed bawling my eyes out. My inner Mom voice is very negative, very critical, and very loud.

Ever been there?

And then I read two posts from some gifted writers. And they went straight to my heart.

Holley Gerth wrote “You’re more than your hard days” and I cried as I read it. If I ever have the opportunity to meet Holley – I’m going to be a blubbering mess thanking her for her writing. (Holley, this is your fair warning!)

And then I read Christin’s post at The Better Mom – Mothering Your Children vs. Managing Them – and cried even harder.

I don’t want to be the mom that only yells (or cries) and rarely laughs and plays.

I don’t want to be the mom that harps on my kids for every. little. thing. and rarely praises them for the things they do so well.

I don’t want to be the mom that they only remember as angry or sad – and never pleasant or supportive.

My inner Mom tells me I’m totally missing the mark. That I’m totally screwing everything up. That I should quit.

And that’s when I know it’s not even just my inner voice anymore. it’s that enemy of ours whispering to my heart of hearts that i can’t do what i’ve been called to do.

i hate him. i despise him. i hate that his voice is so loud in my ear and i am so willing to hear his ugly message.

So then I reread the words of wise women who write from their experience and faith in God. And I read Scripture that says God is faithful and He is not willing that ANY should perish but that everyone should come to repentance and relationship with Him. And I remember that ultimately, my children are in God’s hands and He has a specific purpose for them.

a purpose which cannot be deterred even by my failings. OR my feelings!

And I beg for mercy and grace. For my children. For their mother. For our family. And after Roy lets me cry on his shoulder and offers his support and understanding – and after some time out in the sunshine – i can breathe again.

even when there is more screaming. and fighting. and arguing.

and I can thank God that we’ve survived one of THOSE Mommy Days… and know He has grace enough to carry us through tomorrow.

  • Tehila

    Thank you so much for your honesty! ALL of us mommies go through those mommy days. I’m so thankful that the next day is a NEW day, and most often, our sweet children don’t even remember our sinful responses from the day before… His grace and mercies are new every morning… What a comfort!!! :-) God bless you…

    • Debbie aka The Queen Mommy

      Thanks, Tehila! Mommies have a tough job and I’m my worst critic. I am grateful for a God who bathes me in his daily grace and mercies!

  • Marsha *Nana* Baker

    These kinds of downer days make the good days seem even better, don’t ya think? One day at a time…those babies will be grown and gone before you know it. Thank God for second chances…tomorrows…and godly women who write what God tells them so they can minister to hurting mamas like you. God is so good! And so are you. XO

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